


Never Read the Comments

by manic_intent



Category: Ant-Man (2015), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, That AU with AlwaysAGirl!Tony, Very light R, and Thor overreacts to internet trolls, where Hope asks for Toni's help in getting the Pym Particle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:01:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4481930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manic_intent/pseuds/manic_intent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sorry I'm late," Toni said brightly, as she slouched into the chair opposite Hope van Dyne in the corner of the restaurant. "You have no idea what I had to do to get out of that shareholder meeting early."  </p><p>Hope smiled one of her thin, not-quite-there smiles. Perfect bob, perfect makeup, perfectly tailored pants suit, perfectly manicured hands opening a leather menu. "Not a problem." Perfect lie there too. "I know what that feels like." </p><p>"Grats on your... rising share price?" Toni hazarded, having never been particularly good at small talk, especially small talk with people who weren't engineers. Since the morning had been a shareholder meeting, Pepper had strong-armed Toni into a pants suit of her own, though her thick black hair was a tangled, shoulder-swallowing mane by now, and she hadn't quite managed makeup. Makeup tended to melt off Toni in awkward smudges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Read the Comments

**Author's Note:**

> I hesitated about finishing this story. Usually I don't write from a place of anger. But a fic like this has been simmering in the back of my brain for a while, due to the blow-ups in Silicon Valley over the treatment of women: 
> 
> Some reading material:  
> http://www.glamour.com/inspired/2014/09/women-in-tech-reveal-secrets-of-silicon-valley  
> http://www.forbes.com/sites/deniserestauri/2014/10/13/what-its-like-being-a-woman-in-silicon-valley/  
> https://medium.com/@saraheadler/never-read-the-comments-9cba93b5712a  
> http://fortune.com/2015/02/17/a-female-computer-science-major-at-stanford-floored-by-the-sexism/ 
> 
> … and finally, the Ant-Man film. **DISCLAIMER: If you loved the Ant-Man film, you probably should read the rest of this Author's Note before deciding whether or not to read this fic.**
> 
> I originally decided not to watch the film, because the Marvel series that left the deepest impression on me was Ultimates, and I never did like Ultimates!Hank. However, I think I probably would have enjoyed the film more if it hadn't been hyped up so much over my twitter list (people calling it the funniest Marvel film etc) so I went in with higher expectations than I should. **Overall, I did enjoy it. I'm easily entertained.** Some of the jokes were great, like the Siri one. 
> 
> However, watching the start, I could not help but think: 
> 
> **Wow. This film's narrative would have been so different if Hope was a boy.**
> 
> **TLDR, I probably ruined the film for myself by overthinking** (I don't even buy the 'The fact that I'm here is because he loves you. I'm expendable' mansplain. Can you imagine that scene playing out if Hope was male? I felt like the real reason why Hope wasn't the one in the Ant-Man suit was because she was born a girl and not a boy, and so Needed Protecting, even though she was clearly smarter, faster, and a better fighter. It probably didn't help that I grew up in a conservative family which had rigid expectations of What Girls Do and What Guys Do). 
> 
> So I came home and started this fic. Like I mentioned, I don't normally write when angry. So I'm not entirely happy with this fic, and Toni feels more defensive and brittle than my usual Tony, and... oh well. Hope you guys like it anyway. I just had to flush the ficbunny out of my system. 
> 
> Personally I actually don't recall very much of IM3 (defensive brain maneuvers? Delete, delete etc) or even Avengers 2... so I think this storyline sits somewhat awkwardly in a time period before Avengers 2, but where Iron Man 3 never happened.

I.

"Sorry I'm late," Toni said brightly, as she slouched into the chair opposite Hope van Dyne in the corner of the restaurant. "You have no idea what I had to do to get out of that shareholder meeting early."

Hope smiled one of her thin, not-quite-there smiles. Perfect bob, perfect makeup, perfectly tailored pants suit, perfectly manicured hands opening a leather menu. "Not a problem." Perfect lie there too. "I know what that feels like." 

"Grats on your... rising share price?" Toni hazarded, having never been particularly good at small talk, especially small talk with people who weren't engineers. Since the morning had been a shareholder meeting, Pepper had strong-armed Toni into a pants suit of her own, though her thick black hair was a tangled, shoulder-swallowing mane by now, and she hadn't quite managed makeup. Makeup tended to melt off Toni in awkward smudges. 

"That's not what I wanted to talk about," Hope said mildly, though her eyes narrowed silghtly. 

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" Toni asked, checking only through the menu as far as she needed to get to the part that said that the restaurant served cheeseburgers. "I mean. Congratulations. You've ousted your dad from the company. Going to be an awkward conversation to have at Christmas. But the market's justified your decision and-" 

"Toni," Hope interrupted quietly. "Does the Pym particle exist?" 

Toni glanced around, but Hope tapped pointedly at a slim leather wallet on her table. "JARVIS," Tony said anyway. "We safe to talk?" 

There was a pause, then JARVIS said into Toni's earpiece, "Scans indicate a disruptor is currently in place. Signal poor. Standing by." 

"Must be some new tech," Toni said, impressed. "It's giving JARVIS a headache." 

"I want to know about the Ant-Man project, Toni." 

"And for that you go to your dad's enemy?" 

"For that, I go to the daughter of my father's rival," Hope said dryly, "Because between us both, I don't think we're about to have some sort of dick measuring contest." 

"...Not buying it," Toni confessed. "And you're assuming that Howard actually told me things. Daddy never wanted to have a girl. So. No, I don't know if the Pym particle exists." 

"Yes," Hope's tone was flat. "I know how that feels as well. If the Ant-Man tech exists, I know that my father would never pass it on to me. All the training I've done, all the things I've learned, all the years I've put into his company? He'll give it to a man off the street rather than to his own daughter. Hank always wanted a son. He'll probably even settle for a charity case. The son he never managed to have." 

As toneless as Hope's voice was, there was rage there, in her eyes, something that had probably festered enough that Hope had done what she had done this week. "Looks like someone kicked Daddy off the board out of spite and is maybe regretting it." Toni noted blandly. "Showed a little muscle but Daddy didn't see it, did he? You're still his little doll." 

Hope's lip curled. "We're the most powerful women in tech in the world, Toni." 

"And? Maybe we should share horror stories about all the hate mail we get?" 

"Maybe we should help each other." 

"Sounds like maybe you should be having this conversation with Stark Industries' CEO, not me." 

"Howard Stark wasn't Pepper Pott's father." 

"For the best part of my life, he wasn't a father to me either," Toni said, and tried to sound bland, but it didn't work out there either. "All right," Toni added reluctantly. "I'll see what I can do. Dad hid records all over the place. I'll try and track them down. But I'm not sure that I see the point. Like you've said. Doctor Pym's never going to pass the Ant-Man tech down to you. Even if it exists." 

"Access to the Pym particle isn't what I'm interested in," Hope said briskly. "But leveraging it to finally get an answer out of my father? That's something else altogether." 

"You know," Toni guessed, "I probably would've helped you outright if you'd just told me that you wanted to know what happened to your mother." At Hope's frown, Toni added, "I mean, that's _only_ one of America's great unsolved World War II mysteries. Your granddaddy sued your dad for information and he still clammed up tight. You threatened to disown your dad and take on your mum's name, called his bluff and he still kept schtum. What makes you think the Pym particle will give you the leverage?" 

"Because it's the last thing in this world that he still values, now that he no longer has his company." Hope said, and paused as the maitre d approached, all plastic, nervous smiles. "I'll have the chicken salad." 

"Cheeseburger. And a vodka martini." Toni handed the menu over, and watched as the maitre d scuttled off. Some diners surreptitiously took photographs with their phones, and frowned to themselves, probably because the pics were turning out fuzzy. JARVIS was on guard. "So." 

"So," Hope echoed, though she smiled again, thin and tight-lipped. 

"What do I get out of this deal?" 

"What you're looking for, of course," Hope said, clipped. "If you find the Pym particle? You can have it." 

"Maybe I'd rather that you came over the fence and worked for me," Toni suggested, because semi-imaginary particles were one thing, but the world was short on lionesses. 

Hope laughed, and for the first time since Toni had sat down, there was actual humour in it. "Me? I'll never be satisfied with anything but the CEO position, Toni, and that's fully occupied in your court. But say hello to Pepper for me."

II.

Pepper looked exhausted when Toni dutifully relayed said sentiment to her afterwards. "I don't think we need to get involved in another family feud right now, Toni."

"Another? You mean we're already involved in one right now?" Toni was impressed. She hadn't noticed. "Awesome. The more the merrier." 

Pepper sighed. "I'm talking about your not-boyfriend." 

"Thor is a Friend With Benefits," Toni pulled a face. "A 'not-boyfriend' is _so_ high school, Pep." 

"I don't want to know. But I do need you to revoke Thor's JARVIS access." 

"Why?" 

"He read the comments. On your twitter." 

"Okay." Toni hesitated. "What's the damage?" Another pause. "Did someone call Cap? Wait. Not Cap, he'll be even worse. Nat?" 

"Since the HYDRA infiltration," Pepper said, very dryly, "Using SHIELD for the purposes of their acronym has been rather limited in function." 

Great. "Uh. Where's Thor now?" 

Pepper switched the widescreen StarkTech TV in her office on. Ten minutes later, they broke out the whisky. Half an hour later, when Thor actually got back to the Avengers Tower, Toni was actually starting to feel amused about it all, but Pepper had always been an angry drunk, so Toni was still in Retreat Mode when she stumbled out into Thor on the penthouse floor. 

Thor grinned at her, puppyish and happy, even as Toni noted that Clint was sprawled beyond, on the couch, rubbing a hand over his face, as though hoping to scrub reality away with it. "The tree through the house was overdoing it," Toni told Thor, as he caught her in his arms. 

"It was what the troll wished to insert unto you," Thor frowned slightly. "Though it did not revert into a troll form upon combat." 

"Oh God," Clint muttered. 

Toni couldn't help it. She started to laugh: it bubbled out of her, cheek smushed against Thor's immovable chest, arms barely clasping around his waist. "No... no one explained to Thor what a 'troll' meant?" 

"I tried!" Clint wailed. 

"Anybody die?" 

"No sir," JARVIS said helpfully. "Though the family of Mister Jacobs seems to be considering a lawsuit against the Avengers." 

"Settle out of court... no wait! Let's counter-sue this asshole. My lawyers haven't had a work-out recently." Toni grinned muzzily to herself, still hiccuping laughter. "Really no one died? Was anyone hurt?" 

"Not seriously, sir." 

"There you go." Toni told Clint brightly. "But seriously Thor. If you're going to try and respond personally to all the haters? You're never going to get anything done ever again. And your JARVIS access is officially revoked for now. 'Cos abuse of power and all that. And. I don't need you fighting my battles. Really. It's cute. But stop." 

Thor frowned at her. "So I am aware. But Lady Potts informed me in the course of my complaint that you were restrained from responding in kind due to the strictures of your position. I felt that I was not similarly constrained from expressing displeasure." 

Toni eyeballed Clint, who shrugged. "Hey, I only got called in when the tree had already hit the fan." 

"I kinda miss Fury," Toni said sadly, because Fury might have been the biggest asshole Toni had ever had the pleasure of getting to know, but at least he was very, very good at Keeping The Lid on Thor. "Thor. No more terrorising haters. OK?" 

"It was a matter of honour," Thor said, so very seriously. 

"Yeah, right. And?" 

"And boredom," Thor admitted, with his puppy smile, because Thor had never actually managed the concept of white lies, and drunken Toni laughed, patting Thor heavily on the shoulder. 

"That's the spirit. But really. No more. OK? Cap will get high blood pressure. And then he'll lecture all of us on the evil use of evil powers and then we'll all be in the shits..." Toni trailed off when she noticed, even through her whisky haze, that Clint was suddenly showing a suspicious amount of interest in his knees. "JARVIS?" 

"Captain Rogers has indeed just emerged from the lift, sir." 

"All right," Toni said drunkenly, trying to turn around but actually managing only to slide slightly down Thor's chestplate, at least until Thor quickly got an arm around her waist, holding her up. Steve was dressed in what he probably thought of as 'civvies' and what Toni thought of as One Flannel Shirt Away From a Fashion Disaster, and he was red-faced, out of breath, and sweating into his khaki Army shirt and fatigues. "Lawyers are handling everything. Emergency over." 

"Toni," Steve said urgently, walking right up to them, "You never told me that you were being threatened!" 

Toni goggled at him. "Seriously?" 

"JARVIS showed me the... the writings, and Lord, some of the things that people say to you everyday-" 

"Okay, first," Toni raised a finger muzzily. "I can't have this conversation when drunk. Second. JARVIS, could you revoke Cap's Twitter access too? Thanks. Thirdly, uh. I'm not the only one. Moment you're a successful woman, 'specially in tech, or, hah, I mean, do you see what people say about Serena Williams? 'Cos that's extra nasty." 

"This happens to many women?" Steve asked, appalled. "The... the death threats, the rape threats, even all the things they say about your ability-" 

"Sure. I work in tech. It's about the way things are. Biggest boy's club in the world." 

Steve set his jaw. "I can't accept that." 

"Not about you accepting things," Toni was starting to get tired of the conversation. "It's how the world is right now, sadly. All right? I'm fine." 

"You're not fine-" 

"All right. I've had fucking enough," Toni growled, twisting out of Thor's grip, and she knew she was going to regret this later, wobbling on her feet. "Stand down, Cap. This isn't your problem." 

"You're one of the Avengers. A teammate." 

"Steven," Thor began carefully, for Thor might be puppy-like but he also had an incredibly good instinct for Shit Going Down. Before he could get going, however, Toni interrupted sharply. 

"I'm also one of the most powerful people in the world," Toni said, her tone edged, "I've privatised world peace. I'm Person of the Year for TIME and I've got a Nobel prize - is that fucking enough? I'm not some sort of damsel in distress for you to pluck up and put on a stand." 

"It isn't right." 

"I don't need protecting." 

"When you're not in your suit-" Steve began, which was as far as he got, because Toni had been coming down off a raft of dug up Daddy issues that she'd thought she'd outgrown, and a drunken lecture from Pepper and most of a bottle of whisky and she really, really didn't need Cap'n 1940s America on her ass right now. 

On hindsight, slugging Steve in the jaw was probably a bad move. Clint pounced on Toni hurriedly, dragging her off even as she struggled and snarled, hustling her away and only wincing as she tried viciously elbowing him in the stomach. Toni was sweating and pissed off and disheveled by the time Clint got her to her rooms, and she was laughing again, until she was gasping helplessly, and still giggling when Clint said dryly, "All right girl. You're going to sleep this off, and then you're probably not going to regret any of it in the morning." 

"Shouldn't it be me regretting all the things in the morning?" 

"I know you better than that."

III.

Toni woke up contrite enough to call off the lawyers, though not contrite enough to answer any of the messages Steve had left for her through JARVIS. She dutifully did the press rounds of CNN, MSNBC and various, yawned through another shareholder meeting, spent a couple of hours in the lab, then finally passed out on the couch. When she woke up, bleary-eyed, at some ungodly hour the next morning, Toni finally remembered to check on Thor, whom, it seemed, had been persuaded by Pepper to go join one of the Sea Shepherd voyages. Good old Thor. Protecting the whales and throwing a tree through the house of a 'troll' was probably about on par where Asgardian reasoning was concerned. Maybe. They'd been off and on and off again, sometimes plus or minus Jane Foster, and Toni still couldn't quite understand how Thor's brain worked.

"It appears," Thor told her through VidCall, very seriously, "That I may have caused A Problem?" 

"Don't worry about it." 

"These kindly Shepherds of your Seas tell me that I have not," Thor said, tilting his StarkTech communicator to show a small horde of people trying and failing to not look obviously interested, standing on the sleek, warship deck of the _Antonia Stark_ , the ship that Toni had designed and donated, rushing up into a background of endless ocean and sky. "They have also asked me to send you their regards and support." 

"Sure. Send them my love too," Toni said, amused. "Just have fun, OK? See you when you get back." 

"I will so endeavour," Thor said, if with his puppy smile this time, and Toni mimed blowing a kiss, before switching the communicator off and turning back to the coffee machine - and hesitating. At the end of the kitchen counter was Steve, dressed a little less like an army boy this time, in a straining white shirt and jeans, his jaw set, eyes flicking between Toni's hands and her communicator. 

"Shit, son," Toni said, after a long and awkward pause. "Uh. Gimme a moment to make coffee, then you can lecture me." 

"Actually," Steve said stiffly. "I would. Like. Um. To apologise." 

"Really?" Toni asked, fascinated and blindsided. 

"I didn't mean to imply that you can't take care of yourself." Steve continued, in the same stilted Robot Steve voice. "You've made it amply clear that you can. It's just. This is the future, but. Some things you just can't take lying down. I never thought. The things people say about you, and, and Miss Romanov, even." 

"Welcome to the new America, Cap," Toni managed to wrangle the coffee machine to do her bidding. "That's what you fought the war over. Freedom and the American Way. First Amendment. Hoo-rah!" 

"This isn't free speech. It's harassment. Death threats too." Steve was starting to redden. "How'd you just brush it off?" 

"When you hear shit like that for years and years..." Toni shrugged. "I'm kinda past giving a fuck. I won't shut up. Means they won't shut up too. But fuck'em. Why get mad over a bunch of losers? 'Sides," Toni added gently. "Ain't all that bad. Got the good, too. That's how people are. You get the loud assholes, sure. But you also get everybody else. And people as a whole aren't so bad. Besides, I can take it. Better me than some other lady out there who doesn't have my money, my friends or my narcissism, yeah?" Toni winked at Steve. 

Strangely enough, this didn't seem to calm Cap down in the least - Steve just got redder and redder, and then finally mumbled something awkward and fled. 

Huh. Toni checked herself in the shiny flank of the toaster. Was she that scary without makeup on? 

Well. Whatever. Toni had never seen the point of spending an hour primping in the bathroom, not when fifteen minutes in a lab welding plates was going to melt it all off. She poured herself a huge cup of coffee and tried to sneak off to the lab, where she was promptly corralled by Pepper, poured into a pants suit, and dragged off to a Stark Industries press conference, where Toni smiled woodenly and answered idiot questions about her diet and her figure and her favourite fashion line and her not-boyfriend Thor, everything but actual _tech_ questions or even the Iron Man suit, tried not to eye-roll through it all, and was ready to murder a cheeseburger by the time the whole farce was over. 

"24 hour news cycle," Toni said, when they were finally at lunch. "Gotta love it." Some sort of peppy pop star feud had blown up over Twitter, and no one was interested any longer in Toni, trees through houses notwithstanding. 

"More importantly," Pepper added, "We need a new client to take the place of SHIELD. Or some new enterprise that makes enough profits to up our share price." 

"How about we fund a secret spy agency manned only by hot older guys who look like Colin Firth?" 

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Take this seriously, Toni. The fact is, your arc reactor is so two years ago. As is the Iron Man suit. You're going to have to do something bigger, better." 

Toni cast around desperately for an idea, was shot down five more times, and finally fessed up. "Hope van Dyne talked to me the other day." 

"I know. You mentioned it to me, remember? About what? Is it another lawsuit?" 

"No. No! Jesus, Pep. She wants some help with a big project. Top secret." 

"Pym particle?" At Toni's blink, Pepper sighed. "What else could it be? Word down the vine is, Hank Pym was ousted because he refused to divulge the formula. His own company's struggling to stay afloat. Well. Good." 

"Really?" 

"Hope's sensible, and ambitious. Hopefully you'll learn something." Pepper smirked, then hesitated. "But. Please don't sleep with Darren Cross, all right? He's hot. But he gives me the creeps." 

"I'm sleeping with Thor," Toni said dryly. "He's kinda ruined me for normal guys." 

"Even Captain Rogers?" Pepper asked, and laughed as Toni choked on her whisky. 

"So not funny." 

"Why? He's definitely hot." 

"Pretty sure I punch every button on his 'Danger, Danger, Scary Modern Woman, Do Not Engage' radar. I mean. Every time we have a private chat, I always end up saying something that scares him off." 

Pepper shook her head pityingly, and changed the topic back to their sad lack of a new key client, and by the time Toni finally managed to get back to the lab, she'd mostly forgotten about it. Besides. Steve Rogers might be nearly as hot as Thor, fine. And Toni wasn't strictly against having a fling. But there was something far too earnestly _seriousmode_ about Steve, and Toni wasn't sure if that attracted her or scared her.

IV.

"I think we need to open a conversation," said Hope-on-the-TV, looking very seriously at her interviewer, "About the everyday sexism faced by women in the tech industry."

"Oh Gods," Toni slouched down in the loveseat and pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is totally not dying. It's like a zombie news story." 

"Shh," Pepper was perched on the couch in the Avengers penthouse, bolt upright and alert. 

"Of course I do not condone violence," Hope added, in response to a softball question, "And what Thor did was certainly extreme, at least by our culture. But we must remember that Thor is not human, nor does he have much context where our world is concerned: he has not lived here for very long. From what I have heard, he comes from a post-gendered society. What I would surmise is that he thought he was responding to an actual threat against a teammate." 

"Did you find the Pym particle already?" Pepper asked. 

"Nope. Got some leads, nothing concrete. Why?" 

"Let's find it," Pepper decided, and as Toni stared at her, on screen, Hope was asked a question about Hank Pym's recent ouster. 

Hope gave a canned-for-the-press response about amicable partings, then added, "Sure, I suppose my father probably wished that he got a son. So did Howard Stark. But I think Toni and I have shown that we're not our parents. We can be better. And at the end of the day? Every girl out there grows up eventually." 

"Way to get a final stab in on cable TV," Toni said admiringly, as the interview wrapped up. 

"If Hank Pym is anything like you, or like most of the other eccentric millionaire techies out there," Pepper said absently, "I bet the Pym particle is in the basement of his favourite house." 

"He is totally not like me," Toni disagreed severely, and at Pepper's raised eyebrows, conceded, "But you're probably right. And. Okay. So I do keep a lot of shit in my basement. But. It's. _My_ basement lab. _Lab_." 

Pepper ignored Toni's injured look. "So we break into his house." 

"Whoa, Pep. Slow down there." Toni blinked. "Wait. Are you Pepper? Where's my by-the-books, nobody's-getting-sued-here CEO?" 

"The Pym particle could revolutionalize the energy race. Technology in general. It could make getting sufficient supplies to refugees easier and safer, even. Just because something could be weaponised doesn't mean it's bad. You should know that better than anyone. And," Pepper added, "I think it's suspicious, how he's never told his own daughter what happened to Janet van Dyne. Hank Pym's known to have a temper. And for years he was the prime suspect over what happened to her, even though no charges were ever pressed." 

"… All right, fine. You've pressed all my daddy issues buttons. So. We break into his house." Toni hesitated. "Or. Maybe we can get Natasha to do it. She's kinda free now, right? In between dodging HYDRA and things. You're cool with her, right?" 

They argued it over vaguely until Toni finally got around to giving Hope a call, at which point Hope put her foot down. "No. If anyone's breaking into that house, it's me." 

Toni sulked. She had actually managed to muster together a half decent Why You Should Break Into This Old Guy's House argument for Natasha, too. "That's kinda cheating. Won't you have a spare key or something?" 

"No." 

"We could hire a professional," Pepper was already bringing up a tab on her laptop, terrifyingly enough. The Gods only knew what she was browsing. eThiefHarmony? 

"No." Hope said firmly. "But you could lend me a pair of the Iron Man gloves." 

"What? No. If you need the gloves, I'm going with you," Toni protested, which was how they ended up in a van that Pepper had borrowed off Happy's cousin, with Happy in the driver's seat, Pepper tapping away at a laptop in the back, and Toni and Hope struggling to get over the wall. Or rather, Hope went over the wall like a cat, and Toni cursed under her breath as she manfully used a grapple to pull herself up. No jetboots were allowed in this scenario, apparently. 

"Boss," Happy said nervously, in Toni's earpiece. 

"What?" Toni and Pepper hissed back together. Sneaking through the overgrown garden in front of her, Toni saw Hope quickly swallowing a grin. 

"I really don't think this is a good idea?" 

"Bit late there Happy," Toni muttered. "Look on the bright side. We're the most fashionable burglars ever. I mean. Pepper's in Chanel, I think Hope's wearing Dior, and I'm rocking some Armani that's never done anything this awesome. And I haven't even gotten started on our shoes. We're so fashionable, I think the police will really think twice about arresting us. And even if we get arrested, we can afford lots of lawyers and the bail. God bless American capitalism. Good enough for you?" 

Hope stifled a giggle by pressing a gloved hand over her masked mouth. 

"You're sure that your father isn't home?" Pepper asked Hope. "Because my contacts tell me that he hasn't actually left the country." 

"He has several homes," Hope said dismissively. "Besides. He won't be in this house on this night. It's the anniversary of my mother's death." 

Heavy. 

An awkward silence descended as they made it across the garden and into the house. Only after Hope jimmied open the window of the house with a knife and let them both in did Toni remember to whisper, "Hey. Saw your interview. About opening a conversation." 

"Uh-huh." 

"Maybe we could start a foundation or something," Toni suggested vaguely, philanthropic matters having always been Pepper's to deal with. "Empowerment and things." This was usually the extent of Toni's contribution towards Stark Industries matters that didn't have to do with feats of engineering. 

"Things," Hope repeated dryly, clearly disinclined to exhibit Pepper levels of detailed extrapolation. "And the money will come from?" 

"I guess I could build one less Iron Man suit this year," Toni said regretfully. Sacrifices, the greater good, and all that. "Besides, it'll probably cost less than having to fund a few tree-through-a-house defensive lawsuits. We could teach girls how to track down abusive losers and send SWAT teams to their houses... just joking," Toni added hastily, as Hope frowned at her. 

"I recognise that this is coming from a place of anger-" 

"Well not really-" 

"-but we're kind of in the middle of something here?" 

"Oh. Yeah. Right!" 

The house actually didn't have any security, which was weird, and they made it easily to the basement - where things promptly got weirder. And gross. The floor of the room that led to what looked like an _ancient_ vault safe door was crawling with huge black _ants_. 

"Okay. That's. Kind of disgusting." Toni ventured faintly, and wished that she hadn't had pizza for dinner. Her stomach roiled uneasily, and she tried to take a deep, careful breath that probably ended up panicky. 

"What?" Pepper asked, her voice faint and crackling with static. "What's going on? Toni, you're breaking up. Are you guys OK?" 

"Uh. Tell you later, Pep. Hope, the gloves won't make a difference. Should've brought a flamethrower. Also, what the fuck. Has your dad been rolling in sugar in his basement or something?" 

"I've always..." Hope trailed off abruptly. "He's controlling them." 

"He? Who? Your dad? Really?" Toni yelped. "He's a mutant?" 

"No. Electromagnetic waves. Do you have an EMP?" 

"I do, but right now, all those ants are down there. Would you rather they came after us up here?" 

Hope let out a frustrated snarl. "Any other suggestions?" 

"Sec." Toni switched her sunglasses to visor mode, and turned in a slow circle, as JARVIS gridded out the house and mapped it out with x-ray. "OK. There's a suit behind that safe door. Helmet, some sort of PJs, the works. On a table." 

"I knew it." Hope glared at the ants. "Maybe if I got some kerosene from the garage-" 

"But," Toni added hastily, "There's another suit. Further up in the house. It's held in a rack. Helmet, PJs with what looks like boob armour - seriously guys, who the hell makes boob armour, that shit's dangerous - and giant insect... wing things... ow." 

Hope had grabbed Toni's arm sharply, her eyes behind her ski mask hard, almost feverish. "Where's this other suit?"

V.

After some argument Toni was the one who left with the suit, and she spent the first day undoing the boob armour, and then the second day desultorily improving the armour polymer based on an extrapolation of principles from an old scan of Thor's Asgardian armour, and the third day completing the suit based on the raft of printouts and notes they had found in the suit's room... and the day after that... and so on... trying and failing to analyze the Pym particle.

It worked, for sure - Hope herself had gone on a test drive of what she called the 'Wasp' gear, going small as a bug and back up to human size, and that really shouldn't be possible, Toni complained, because all that mass really should be going _somewhere_. "It's like magic," Toni bitched to Hope, as they took a pizza break in the lounge room of the Malibu house. "And I fucking hate magic." 

Hope nodded. She wasn't actually eating pizza - she was picking the pineapple off the top, and ignoring Toni's side-eye. "I spoke to my father about the particle." 

"Oh yeah? And?" 

Hope's expression clouded. "He refuses to tell me still. He told me to do my worst. That in his opinion, by getting you involved, I already have." 

"Well, tell him to fuck off," Toni decided, always belligerent when one beer down. "We don't need his help. I'll uh. I'll ask Captain America, how about that. And maybe I could get Nat to lean on what's left of SHIELD. See if we can dig something out. OK?" 

Hope stared at Toni in surprise. "I thought..." She hesitated. "You already have the Pym particle." 

"Yeah. Well." Toni said awkwardly. "If I were you, I would want to know what happened to my mum too," which was sort of maybe a lie. 

Toni's mother, bless her soul, had never known what to do with a girl-child disinterested in makeup and dolls and frocks, and Toni's only real memory of her childhood had been a sense of continuing disappointment from one parental unit and mild confusion from the other. But what the hell. Howard Stark had spent years looking for Capsicle, after all. Stubbornness was in her blood. 

So Toni called Steve, got through to an automated voice mail, left a message with Steve and with JARVIS, and ended up watching Game of Thrones with Hope, which, okay, was a show that gave her the heebies sometimes, but hey, Jaime Lannister's _ass_. Maybe Toni had a thing for blonde men. It was possible. 

They were partway through some tedious Braavos segment when JARVIS informed Toni that Steve was at the door. "Let him in," Toni said distractedly, slouched all the way down on the couch with a sketchbook, doodling Pym particle ideas. 

Hope glanced at Toni, then back at the TV, prim and upright in the love seat, hands folded in her lap. Seriously. Half a day spent with Toni tinkering with the Wasp suit in the lab, and Toni was a mess, sweaty, no more makeup, greasy shirt, no shoes, grungy jeans - no jeans at all, if she thought she could get away with it. While Hope was still perfect, not a single hair out of place, though she was dressed down in a black blouse and gray tights. Some days Toni didn't know why she bothered with life. 

Steve ambled into the living room... dressed up for something. Not a suit or his uniform, but he was in a nice navy button down, no khaki, no fatigues, black jeans folded into biker boots that showed off Steve's trim, muscular thighs. The man even had a slightly squished, small bouquet of red roses. Steve glanced at them both, looking confused as he noticed Hope, and Toni cleared her throat, without getting up. "Uh Steve. When I said I wanted to see you, I didn't mean like _right now_. You could go on your date first, you know." 

Weirdly enough, Hope shot Toni an incredulous stare, even as she paused the ep. Toni mouthed _what?_ back, but only got a frown. 

Steve cleared his throat, and actually turned pink, staring down at his feet. "Um. It sounded. Important?" 

"Not that important. You look good! Who's the lucky girl? Someone from SHIELD? Ooh, I know," Toni brightened up, having vaguely recalled Maria mentioning something of the sort some time ago, "It's that blonde girl right? Sheryl? Shireen? Sharon?" 

"Oh my God, Toni." Hope muttered. 

"They're for you," Steve said hastily. "You uh. You didn't accept my apology the last time, so. I thought. Maybe I should try again...?" 

"Oh! You didn't need to bother. You're forgiven," Toni belatedly got off the couch. "For the record, I'm sorry I punched you in the face." 

"You're also forgiven," Steve said, with a strange, shy smile, glancing up. 

"Maybe I should come back later," Hope started to get up. 

"What? No." Toni frowned at Hope, even as she took the flowers from Steve. "Steve, this is Hope van Dyne. Hope, Steve Rogers. She's got a question for you. I'll put these somewhere. Thanks. They're uh, very nice," she added vaguely, her default answer to presents that weren't technological in nature, and scurried off to find an unsuspecting container. 

Toni returned with a decent red and some glasses, to find Steve talking earnestly to Hope, seated now on the couch. He turned pink again when Toni set the wine and glasses down on the coffee table and plopped down next to him, scooping up her sketchbook and pencil, then pouring everyone a glass. "Found anything out yet?" Toni asked Hope, slouching back. 

"Hank and my mother weren't in the same division as the Captain was." Hope said. "But Captain Rogers-" 

"Just 'Steve', please." 

"-said that he might know veterans who might know something. We'll keep in touch." 

"OK. Cool," Toni offered, already losing interest, finishing her glass and doodling while Hope and Steve chatted up a storm, and later, when Cap left, murmuring something awkward about another appointment, Toni grinned at Hope as they unpaused the show. "That was cute." 

"What was?" 

"You and Cap?" 

Hope pursed her lips. "It's incredible to me, Toni Stark, how you can be so intelligent and yet so completely blind to the world." 

"About...?" 

"You left Rogers a message saying you wanted to meet him." 

"… Yes?" 

"And he shows up dressed for a date, with roses." 

Toni grimaced. "That's just your dirty brain talking. Cap and I only nominally get along. He doesn't even like being in the same room as me. As to the flowers, that's probably just what his 1940s brain thinks that qualifies as an appropriate apology to girls." 

"Aren't you in a relationship with Thor?" 

"Hah! No. We're friends. Thor's not really a relationships guy. Not with humans, anyway. Asgardians have a totally different sort of commitment system. He tried to explain it once, but nobody got it. I mean. Thor looks human. But he's a hundred percent alien." 

"Oh." Hope looked thoughtful. 

"Hey, if you're interested, I am totally not a jealous person." 

"No, Toni." Hope cut in sharply. "I just thought... you and Steve..." 

"What about us?" 

"Nevermind. You're both profoundly hopeless."

VI.

Steve's friends didn't actually know anything. But then Steve somehow unearthed Hank Pym from under the rock that the old scientist was hiding under, and had given him some sort of Stern Talking To, after which Hank caved and told Hope everything.

"What." Toni said, actually surprised enough to wheel herself away from her workbench. 

"I know, right?" Hope sounded amused, her smile wry over the holographic VidCall. "That's life for you. Girls put in the work, get shit all. Then two guys have a man to man and everything's fixed." 

"Hold on," Toni protested. "I still got the Pym particle. And you still got your Wasp suit. So it's not a loss. It's a win, actually. I mean. If we never got off our asses and did the home invasion, the ball wouldn't even have started rolling. So maybe Cap gets some credit, for wrangling your crabby dad. But I don't think he gets _all_ the credit," Toni added, because she was competitive that way. 

"I was joking, Toni. It wasn't a competition. I'm just... glad to know what happened." Hope said pensively. "And thanks for your help." 

"Sure. Anytime." 

"But say 'yes' to Rogers when he calls, all right?" 

"Yes? To what?" Toni asked, but Hope had already hung up. Puzzled, Toni went back to tooling her repulsor gauntlets, and as such, when JARVIS put through the next call, Toni didn't even bother to check the caller ID before waving it through. 

"Toni, hi," Steve said, sounding uncharacteristically nervous, and Toni shoved up her welding visor, startled. Steve looked like he was in his dress uniform, sitting in what looked like some sort of park. 

"Hey. Something up? Did I miss a charity gala or something?" 

"I... um. I'm not very good at this." 

"At what?" Toni asked, puzzled, and from this angle, she could see what looked like another bouquet of flowers on the bench, next to Steve. "You make another girl mad?" 

"No...?" Steve looked confused. "I just thought. Maybe you would like to... I mean. Are you free for dinner? I mean. Would you like to go out for dinner? Tonight?" 

Toni squinted at her workdesk holodeck, which indicated a time of five-thirty. "I'm kinda in the middle of something and JARVIS-" Toni hesitated, when she recalled Hope's words, belatedly. Did Hope cut a deal with Steve or something? Well, Steve _had_ gotten results. And it wasn't as though it was any skin off her nose. "Sure. Let's go. Now?" 

Steve brightened up visibly, and Toni finally, finally understood. Holy hell. All the blushing and the fleeing the scene and... Steve was sweet on her. On _Toni_. What the fuck. 

She probably even gaped a little in shock, even as Steve said something about picking her up in an hour and signed off hurriedly, as though afraid that Toni would change her mind. In a daze, Toni dragged herself off to the shower, where she stared at her reflection in the mirror for a long, blankly puzzled moment. Tangled black hair. Black glasses, toeing the line between nerdy and trendy. Small breasts, not even that perky. Middle-aged sag and some wrinkles here and there. A face that was a little too angular to be pretty: she'd inherited her father's darkly intense looks, not her gorgeous mother's. Toni kept herself trim, as well, but there was no hiding the silver that was getting into her hair, or, hell, the ugly star tissue that still sat around the arc reactor, sunk into her chest. 

Toni showered, made a desultory attempt at shaving her legs, stared at her wardrobe, picked out a baggy shirt and jeans in a defiant daze, then relented and squeezed herself into one of the little black dresses - flattering cleavage, cunningly cut to hide the arc reactor and the scars, flared skirts, outfits for days where Toni knew she had to look good but couldn't quite be entirely arsed. She aggressively tamed her hair with a brush, then managed some semblance of makeup by the time JARVIS said politely, "Captain Rogers would now like me to inform you that he is at the door." 

JARVIS' phrasing was weird. "'Would now'?" 

"Indeed." 

"How long has he been waiting outside?" 

"Twenty-five minutes, sir." 

" _Seriously_? Why?" 

"I do believe the human term for it is 'gathering one's courage'." 

"Oh come on. It's _Captain America_ out there. I don't think he has any problems asking a girl out on a date. Very funny, JARVIS." 

"As you say, sir." JARVIS somehow managed to sound reproachful, and went silent as Toni stuck her tongue out into the air. 

Thankfully, Panic-Mode-Toni was hella efficient, and she managed lipstick, located a purse, and slipped on the Iron Man remote bangles, just in case. Then she sighed, breathed out, and squared her shoulders. No avoiding it now. 

Outside the gate, Steve was leaning against a monster of a bike, a chrome road hog that looked totally out of place behind Steve's shiny, pressed dress uniform. As he smiled to see her, Toni said mildly, "Nice bike." 

"Thanks." 

"I thought Captain America would've been more of a fuel-efficient electric car sort of person." 

Steve blushed. "I, ah, well..." he trailed off, then belatedly handed the roses over. "I don't even think you actually like roses," Steve admitted. 

"I don't. But I appreciate the social ritual." Toni left the roses balanced up on a gate post, where hopefully one of JARVIS' drones would arrange to pick it up and stow it somewhere. "All right, tiger. Let me get this straight. This is a date?" 

"Yes...?" 

"Just checking. I don't usually do dates," Toni admitted. "So what happens? We go for dinner and a walk on the beach or a movie or whatever?" That didn't actually sound fun. 

Steve opened his mouth, closed it, then he started to grin, that strange and tender grin, shy all over again. "What would _you_ like to do then, Toni?" 

"Firstly," Toni said, as she took one of the bike helmets off the seat, " _I_ want to drive." She grinned back, but challengingly. 

"If you like," Steve said unhesitatingly, to Toni's surprise, and actually smirked a little as she stared. 

Not quite _that_ much in the 1940s then. "All right, Cap," Toni said, as she pulled the helmet over her head. "Let's burn some rubber."

V.

If there was one thing that Toni Stark and gossip rags agreed on, it was that she Didn't Do Dates. As such, she wasn't entirely sure who was more bemused, when one date turned into three and then they were photographed coming out of Katz's, toting pastrami sandwiches, which was when the shitball exploded against the fan, publicity wise.

"You guys even made it onto the front page of the BBC," Clint held up his StarkPad. "'Toni Stark Is Dating Captain America'. Wow. They didn't even bother to jazz up the headline." 

"Slow news day?" Toni hazarded, but she held up her own StarkPad over the breakfast spread in the Tower. "I like this one. 'Stark Spangled Romance!' Bless the Independent." 

"The Sun ran a story about how you were probably pregnant with Thor's alien baby." Clint added, as he shoveled bacon and baked beans onto his plate. "True/False?" 

"That ship's sailed," Toni drawled. "I'm too old for popping brats. And besides. If I die, I plan on leaving all my money to Sea Shepherd." She winked as Clint sputtered, then glanced up as Steve wandered into the dining room, all cleaned up from his early morning marathon run or whatever Steve did at ungodly hours in the morning. Steve beamed when he saw her, kissed her on the cheek, and looked puzzled when Clint made a strangled noise, scooped up his plate and OJ, and scurried off to the balcony. 

"What?" Steve asked, but Toni grinned at him and pulled him down for a proper kiss, all tongue and teeth; Steve was red-faced when he pulled back, though he tugged up a chair to sit closer to her as he helped himself to the food. 

Toni waited until Steve was drinking a glass of orange juice before saying, very casually, "So when are we going to have sex?" 

Steve spat the orange juice over the table and part of his breakfast and ended up gasping and coughing as Toni patted him on the back and laughed. Or maybe cackled. Just a little. "Actually," Steve said nervously, after they cleaned up, "I wanted to talk to you about that." 

"We were going to 'talk' about it, were we?" Toni leered. 

Strangely enough, Steve turned very red, but otherwise didn't back off and flee. "Toni. About this all... uh... Isn't Thor coming back in a week?" 

"Maybe. Could be longer. Seems that pesky fish poacher dude that they're chasing over the seas doesn't want to give up yet. Why?" 

Steve's jaw set. "I don't. I don't want to share." As Toni stared at him, Steve reddened further and blurted out, "I've read that it's maybe a Modern Woman thing, and I know we've never really kinda decided outright what we're doing, but I really like you, Toni, and maybe I'm old-fashioned but-" 

"Okay, firstly," Toni held up a finger. "What the hell have you been reading? Is it Jezebel?" 

"The New York Times ran an opinion piece speculating about Asgardian relationships after that Thor interview." 

"Oh God, I remember that one." Thor had been pretty excited about his opportunity to Further Understand Midgardian Culture Through an Exchange of Ideas, and Nick Fury hadn't been around to corral reporters. "I'm not Asgardian. You know that, right?" 

Steve managed an uneven smile. "Yes?" 

"But on the other hand, I've also never been in an 'old-fashioned relationship' before," Toni added. "I've done dates and flings and affairs but the going-for-movies, walk-on-the-beach kinda thing? No." 

"I know that too." 

"That's because romance is always going to take a back seat where I'm concerned," Toni said, as kindly as she could. "It's not so much about my company. But I'm never going to love anything more than what I'm doing when I'm building something new." 

"I get that too. I've talked to your friends," Steve said earnestly. "Hope and Pepper... and Bruce and Elon Musk and-" 

"And so, what I was going to say is. The reason why I've been effectively single all this while," Toni sobered up. "Know what's my worst nightmare? Having kids, getting married, having to do all of this part time." She jerked a thumb randomly at the apartment. "That works for a lot of people out there, sure. But I'm not wired that way." 

"I'm not asking you to give up your work or your company. I'm just. I don't want you to see other guys." 

"But girls are OK? _Kidding_ ," Toni grinned, as Steve let out a sigh. 

"Please take this seriously." 

"Okay. Fine." Toni scowled, finally growing a little annoyed. "Sure. What do you take me for? But," she added sharply, as Steve visibly relaxed, "I think you're looking to get far more out of all this than you really will." 

"I think that you're the most amazing person I've ever met," Steve said quietly. "And until that New York Times interview I never thought that I might have a chance." 

"Against Thor?" 

"He's only the Prince of a galactic empire," Steve noted dryly. "While I'm just a soldier living out of a Brooklyn apartment that's smaller than the Avengers gym." 

"All right. Maybe you have a point there," Toni said teasingly. "Tell you what, soldier boy. Today's going to be a long day, but I think I can sneak in a dinner date. So call me."

VI.

Dinner turned out to be a no-go, what with the Pym Industries CEO having far more screws loose than even Toni had thought and kidnapping Hope to try and force Toni to hand over the Pym particle.

"Seriously?" Toni demanded, over the VidCall. "That is _so_ lame." 

Behind Cross, locked in some sort of glass cell – really!? Someone's been watching too much Star Trek - Hope stopped looking furious just long enough to roll her eyes. Cross, however, scowled. "What?" 

"I mean. If you had called up here and brought a beer and been _nice_ about it all I probably would've shared everything I had," Toni pinched at the bridge of her nose. "What is _wrong_ with some people?" 

"You expect me to believe that?" Cross glared at her. "Doctor Pym always told me about how aggressively ambitious your father was. Especially regarding rival tech." 

"Okay, firstly? I'm not my father. I mean. I know, I know. What a shocker, right? But I have more hair, I'm prettier – marginally prettier – and I have boobs." Toni tried not to stare too obviously at the timer on her holodeck, a countdown that had activated when she had pushed the panic button for Natasha. "My dad made it big on a handful of patents, sure. But that aggressive ambition made a ton of people hate him, especially investors. D'you think Stark Industries could've gotten where it is today if I was just like my dad?" 

Cross was starting to look confused, which was a good thing. Maybe. "I still have your friend. I want you to hand over the Pym particle – all of it. In person. No suit. Alone." 

"Are we seriously going to do a prisoner exchange? Seriously? Do people do that outside of movies?" 

"Then what do you propose?" Cross snapped. "I'm growing impatient, Miss Stark." 

"Maybe we should settle this like adults. I'm happy to share the tech. You let Hope go, I'll give you half. I haven't made much headway in subatomic physics. I'm trying to extrapolate off the uncertainty principle and it's not really working all that well." 

"If you work at wave-particle duality," Cross began, the know-it-all scientist within him briefly winning out against the sociopath, and they talked about subatomic particles until Natasha finally showed up, kicked everyone's ass, and let Hope out of the cell, where Hope swiftly kicked the already downed Cross in the balls. 

"Ooh. Probably uncalled for," Toni suggested, wincing. 

"Thanks for the save," Hope told Nat. "And Toni? I'm not sure if I should thank you or punch you." She smiled, however. 

"Do both?" 

"Don't tempt me." 

"Uh. Well done team! Stark out." 

Toni had a cold beer pressed against her cheek, sprawled on her couch, when JARVIS said amiably, "Captain Rogers is requesting entry." 

"Wha... oh _holy shit I forgot!_ " Toni sat up sharply. "Shit. Let him in." She managed to school together a contrite expression by the time Steve walked in, but thankfully, he didn't look angry – only worried, coming straight up and sitting beside her on the couch. 

"Sorry," Toni said awkwardly. "You're never going to guess what happened." 

"I heard." Steve said, his tone oddly neutral. "From Natasha." 

"Ah. So uh. We're cool?" 

"No, Toni," Steve exhaled harshly. "We're not cool. Why is it you only have Natasha on speed dial?" 

"Not true, I also have Bruce and Pepper on speed dial." Toni said automatically, and Steve sighed. "Is this a pride thing? Because I'm totally not in the mood." 

"I waited for two hours," Steve said shortly, "After which I got worried, because Pepper wasn't answering calls, nor were you, nor JARVIS, and then you weren't at the Avengers Tower, or anywhere, it seemed – JARVIS wasn't responsive when I first tried this house." 

"There was an emergency, okay?" Toni could feel herself starting to get angry, souring the buzz of victory that she'd felt over managing to stall Cross long enough for Natasha to help. 

"I know that. And I know why you called Natasha instead of anyone else. But would it have hurt you to let me know afterwards? And besides," Steve said tonelessly, "Clearly you still don't even trust me enough to give me access to your house." 

All right. Now she was annoyed. "Listen, buster," Toni snapped. " _No one_ has auto access to my house except Pepper. Not even Thor. Or Bruce. Or even Happy. All right? This house is where I feel _safe_. After Afghanistan happened, I hid out here for two _weeks_. Only by starting to feel safe in here could I start to feel safe _anywhere else_ again. All right? So maybe I should have called you after. But talking for hours to a maniac just to distract him is draining, okay? I forgot. Jesus." 

"Toni..." Steve began uncertainly, only for JARVIS to interrupt. 

"Sir, Doctor Pym is on the line." 

"Sure. Put him on." 

The TV flickered on, and then into a VidCall of Hank Pym, who looked tired and tense. He blinked as he saw Steve and Toni on the couch. "Ah... if this isn't a good time..." 

"No Doc. Captain Rogers here was just leaving. What's up?" 

"Uh," Pym looked slightly flustered for a moment, but when Steve got up from the couch, he said, "Miss Stark, I want to thank you for helping to save my daughter. And if you could relay my thanks to your friends as well, it would be very much appreciated." 

"OK. Sure." Toni said distractedly. By the looks of it, Steve was leaving. _Good_ , she thought viciously. "No problems." 

"I saw the security video footage. And. I suppose what I wanted to say was. Perhaps there was something to what you mentioned in an interview before, about the importance of sharing innovation." Pym said soberly. "I have, shall we say, a problem that has lasted me all these years. You see. It is my belief that my wife, Janet, is not actually dead."

VII.

Toni roped Bruce into it as well, because why not, it wasn't as though Bruce was doing anything important recently anyway (this caused Bruce to look at Toni with his Sad Puppy Bruce eyes, but whatever). Hope was there too, because the fairly impressive labs in Pym Industries were now technically hers – though she didn't stay longer than a meet and greet, jetting off to an investor's lunch, leaving Hank Pym to smile nervously at Bruce and Toni before Bruce finally broke the ice by asking awkwardly where the bathroom was. As a whole, for first meetings, it could've gone better, could've been worse.

Eventually, Toni took a break from lab work to sneak out and check her phone. There were a few messages from Steve, which she ignored, and Toni ended up spending an hour signing off on a few Stark Industries project, and then discussing Hope's Foundation for Girls in Tech idea with Pepper with her brain on autopilot. When Bruce came out to check on her, Toni was finally done and curled in the visitor's lounge, nursing a strong cup of black coffee and wondering why the hell she'd ever decided to take over her father's empire. 

"You can head off if you're busy," Bruce told her comfortingly. "Hank and I have some ideas." 

"I hate my life." 

"No you don't," Bruce said, in his most annoying Toni-Be-Reasonable voice. 

"It'll probably have been much easier for everyone if I just married you," Toni added, and smirked as Bruce started coughing. "Except Nat would kick my ass." 

"What about Nat?" Bruce asked, which showed how utterly oblivious scientists were in general, maybe. 

"Nevermind. Bruce, I think I pissed off Captain America. But not before he pissed _me_ off. So it's complicated." 

"Again?" Bruce smiled as Toni blinked at him. "That used to happen all the time. The thing is, Toni. Steve's very nice and all, but he's very much also a product of his time. Even adjusting to Nat as a teammate on SHIELD took a little doing. But he's trying." 

"So... you want me to... give him a chance...?" Toni asked skeptically. 

"I didn't say that." 

"So... _don't_ give him a chance...?" 

Bruce looked even more bewildered. "I didn't say that either? I just meant, the statistical probability of conflict may be higher than the median in a relationship with Steve. Where you are concerned." 

"Why are all my friends scientists?" Toni groaned, and pressed her face into her hands. "By the way. You should ask Nat out." 

"Out where?" 

"For a date, you dingus." 

Bruce looked even more confused. "Why?" 

"Because she'll say yes?" 

"Really?" 

"Oh my God." Maybe scientists didn't deserve to breed. Although Elon had five kids somehow. Whether that was cosmic karma or cosmic accident had yet to be seen, but Toni was leaning towards the latter conclusion. 

“Going back to the matter at hand, I do think you should 'give him a chance'," Bruce said carefully. "And I'm not just saying it for 'brownie points'." 

"Bruce, your attempts at sounding hip and on-trend are failing miserably," Toni said, just to be catty. 

"He's a good man under all that social conditioning," Bruce continued, ignoring her, "And how many people out there can you be sure of who won't be chasing you because of your money or your tech?" 

"That's kinda... a highly depressing way of looking at it all. 'Yes Toni, there's this guy, or, you can be forever alone'." 

"There's Thor," Bruce amended. "But I mean. That New York Times article." 

"You guys _all_ read it?" 

"Sure. It was an insight into an alien culture." Bruce said mildly. "Maybe too much of an insight, actually. Remember all that uproar over people trying to get Thor deported for being literally an illegal alien?" 

"Was funny," Toni admitted. Thor had found it hilarious too. "The thing is, I've never actually minded the single life." 

"Well," Bruce wrinkled his nose, "I don't think anyone should be defined by his or her relationship. That's such a boring way of looking at someone. But people aren't wired to be alone." 

A sudden suspicion occurred. "Bruce, did Steve... bribe you or something?" 

"He might have asked me for a favour," Bruce admitted, with one of his annoyingly gentle grins. 

"Jesus. I thought you were on _my_ side!" 

"Ghosting someone isn't really the mature way of responding to conflict, right?" 

"Depends on the conflict," Toni muttered, but relented. "All right, Bruce. I'll talk." 

"The thing is," Bruce added, "I don't think he should've gotten angry about your house's security measures. It's your house. Regardless of whether he was worried or whatever it was." 

"Well. Obviously." 

"And he probably shouldn't have tried to climb in," Bruce continued, "But then your garden turrets probably shouldn't have shot at him. Is that even legal?" 

"Wait. What?"

VIII.

"I thought you might've had an accident in your lab or something," Steve said apologetically. "I was real worried. It wasn't uncommon for things to explode in your dad's lab. I thought maybe something like that happened since nobody seemed to know what you were up to and JARVIS wasn't answering calls. But I couldn't get in."

They were in Steve's tiny apartment in Brooklyn, in a quiet neighborhood, and Toni hoped that her car wouldn't have to end up zapping any would-be vandals before the night was over. 

"I don't actually remember installing that kind of response system," Toni admitted. "But it was probably something I did when drunk. Sorry about that." 

"No foul." Steve was sitting on the couch, Toni in a tiny armchair close to the fire escape, and Steve's feet were flat on the ground, relaxed as he looked. "So uh. Truce?" 

"Truce," Toni agreed, and Steve visibly relaxed, which was, all right, kind of cute. Toni grinned, and pushed herself off of the armchair, and it was, sure, _very_ cute how Steve stiffened up and blushed when she slunk onto his lap, his eyes wide and wondering as he pressed his hands lightly to her hips. Toni knew she was sporting a day-old frizz, ratty shirt and jeans, and her makeup had probably given up the fight hours ago, but Steve had an unashamed way of looking at her as though she was the most gorgeous woman in the world, as though he couldn't believe that he was touching her. Maybe it wouldn't last. Maybe someday Steve would finally realize that finding a peppy pretty Girl Next Door was going to be better for his sanity. But for now, he was moaning as Toni pushed him back against the couch and kissed him, and shivering as she pressed the flat of her palm up between his legs. 

"Hello," Toni purred, rubbing up and then down over the impressive bulge. "Captain America's packing a very big flagp-" 

"Please don't," Steve gasped out, bright red, and Toni laughed, kissing him until he stopped sputtering, and then slunk down off the couch onto her knees, horrible ratty carpeting and all, and it was cute how Steve whimpered her name as she managed the button and zipper of his jeans with his teeth, cute how Steve whined and clenched his hands into the fabric of the couch as she got her mouth on him. First blowjob, maybe? Surely not. But he didn't last long, which was a little worrying, until Toni discovered the wonders of 1940s biotech and a nice side effect of the Super Soldier serum, after which she was glad that a) she'd always known to pack condoms in her purse and b) someone who could go several times in a row was _awesome_. 

Pepper called late in the morning when they had finally run out of condoms. "Toni, where are you? There's a board meeting in _half an hour._ " 

"Whoops," Toni blinked, and let Pepper harangue her as she showered hurriedly and dressed with wobbly legs and let Steve kiss her at the door, all grabby hands and dopey looks. Seemed like Steve was one of those guys who got real affectionate after sex. Cute. "I had fun." 

"I didn't know that it could be that good." 

"Sex?" Toni laughed. "Man, I don't know what you guys get up to in the 1940s-" 

"I've never done it before," Steve said, and blushed when Toni stared at him. 

"Steve," Toni said, after a long pause. "So I. Popped your cherry?" 

"Er-" 

"I'm really sorry about having to go," Toni added, now feeling a little like a tool, as Pepper pinged her more urgently. "But. You know. If a guy calls in late because he had a late night with a hot blonde, all those old dudes would just roll their eyes. If _I_ called in late because I had a late night with a hot blonde..." 

"I know, Toni. See you later? At lunch?" 

"Lunch," Toni agreed, then, "Probably," she added, because sometimes board meetings went on for hours, "I'll call you." 

"Sure." Steve kissed her on the cheek. "Have a great day, Toni." 

"You're so not real." 

Lunch was a no-go, as was dinner, but Toni ended up curled with Steve on the couch in the Avengers Tower, along with Bruce and Pepper and Nat, strangely enough. It was movie night, and Toni had picked _The Fifth Element_ for her turn, just because, and midway through Leeloo crashing into Korben Dallas' taxicab, Thor arrived in a whorl of wind and thunder. 

"Myth night!" Thor announced, striding over from the balcony, grinning, though he sobered up as he got closer. "Ah. I am late." 

"Not that late, big guy," Toni said, absently scooting over on the couch so Thor could squeeze in, and it was only during the Opera part that she finally realized that she and Thor were probably the only people actually still watching the film. Steve kept glancing at Thor, and everyone _else_ kept sneaking peeks at the three of them on the couch, with the air of observers watching an incoming train wreck. 

Really. Really? 

They watched to the end anyway, and then Bruce and the others quickly made themselves scarce, leaving Thor, Toni and Steve on the couch. Thor looked around, clearly puzzled, and Toni sighed. 

"Well. This is awkward." 

Thor looked at her thoughtfully, then at Steve, then he started to laugh, all hearty, rumbling chuckles. "You have bedded Steven!" 

Toni could see Steve reddening at her peripheral vision, even as she tried to keep a straight face, though her lips started to twitch. "I know, right?" 

"Toni!" Steve hissed. 

"It must have been a complex endeavour," Thor said brightly. "I regret that I myself did not seem enough for the task." 

Toni was probably grinning madly right now, but she didn't care. "Well, the two of you would have been way too hot a power couple. You'd have blown everyone's minds." 

"Thor, I never... I never thought..." Steve stammered, wide-eyed. "Well uh, I'm really flattered and all but..." 

"My congratulations," Thor said cheerfully. "We should have a drink! To complex endeavours!" 

"To complex endeavours," Toni agreed, laughter bubbling high, and she was grinning yet as Steve pulled her over, still red-faced, to kiss her on the mouth, the tension melting out of him, swept away by relief and by joy. Maybe things could be different. Maybe this could work out after all. She had to try. 

"Night's still young," Toni murmured, when they parted; Thor had already wandered off, perhaps to fly back to the ship. Toni hadn't noticed. 

"Do you have something in mind?" Steve whispered back, lips brushing her forehead, ticklish and tender. 

"Yeah. Let's go flying."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> twitter: manic_intent  
> tumblr: manic-intent


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